WITH APOLOGIES TO LERNER AND LOWE

This was originally sent to the Cams mailist back in
January 2001:



I know what the people are thinking tonight,
As home through the shadows they wander.
Ev'ryone smiling in secret delight,
They stare at the castle and ponder.
Whenever the wind blows this way,
You can almost hear ev'ryone say:

I wonder what Lumiere is doing tonight?
What merriment is the `tender pursuing tonight?
The candles at the Hall, they never burned as bright.
I wonder what Lumiere is up to tonight?
How goes the evening menu,
As only Lumy’s own hands can do,
He regally and legally prepares?
Well, I'll tell you what Lumiere is doing tonight:
He stares! He stares!

You mean that a man who can fill a flagon,
Potent enough to floor a dragon
Has naught to do but check the Camelot mead?
Indeed!

A barkeep who’s been known to battle
A kazillion flies with no sign he’s rattled
And keeps the fire burning bright all night?
Right!

You mean that tall and balding fella
With endless food down in the cellar
Whose heart some say is always’s LadyP’s?
Please!

You wonder what Lumiere is doing tonight?
He's washing dirty glasses in his sink, tonight.
What occupies his time `til LadyP comes back?
He’s busy dusting off the trusty wine rack!
And oh, the expectation,
The sublime anticipation
Each time he looks down in the old tip jar!
Well, I'll tell you what Lumiere, is doing tonight:
He looks!
He cooks!!
He wipes!
O cripes!
And that's what Lumiere is doing… tonight!