THAT HOMER FITZGERALD

With apologies to Gordon Lightfoot.
Set to the tune of the song "The Wreck of
the Edmund Fitzgerald" :


At this time of year, as school days draw near
And summer turns into September
It seems every kid now recalls where they hid
The book list they did not “remember.”

Then the parents freak: school’s starting next week
They rush down to their nearest Borders
But there they find out all their books are sold out
So they end up placing special orders.

And there’s one or two panicked parents who
Think their child’s whole future imperiled
They’ll be left behind! “Say, can you help us find
“Odyssey” by that Homer Fitzgerald?”

“And my daughter Ruth needs a book called “Boe Wulf”
I’m not sure just who is the author.
Oh no, do you know, if it’s in audio?
It’s too long, it will only turn off her!”

As the leaves start to fall the school bells do call
The start of the school year they herald.
But although summer’s done, there ‘ll always be one
Who still wants that damn Homer Fitzgerald!